Blog 7

This week's Family Systems Theory reminds me of several stories and situations I have encountered recently. The first picture is of blocks which spell out family. One of the concepts which struck me in the theory is that each family member comes together to influence family dynamics. All of the blocks together spell "family" but without each individual member together, the sum would not be achieved. While each letter is important, they all come together to spell the single word, just as all family members contribute to the sum family dynamic.

The other area which stood out to me about this theory was the concept of boundaries. We often talk about boundaries in the context of personal space or professional ethics or interpersonal engagement in a work setting. It is much more rare (in my opinion) to talk about boundaries in a family, at least in explicit terms. By defining boundaries as the management of the flow of energy and information/communication in a family as the mechanism by which belongingness and autonomy are set, there is a deep well to explore, whether in a theoretical or therapeutic context.

I have always found the expression, "I am drawing a line in the sand" (second picture) to be extremely interesting. The saying is meant to imply that a decision and its resulting consequences are permanently decided and irreversible, but I always found this to be so ironic because sand is such a malleable substance. These boundaries are something I have recently seen a co-worker struggle to define. My co-worker and friend, Daniela, has been working part-time at our agency for nearly six months since she graduated with her Master's degree. She was recently offered another part-time position and has undergone the process of defining boundaries and rules (explicit and implicit) in order to address their responsibilities and her new schedule.

It has been difficult, because Daniela has been used to having much more free time. As a student, and even recently holding a single part-time job, allowed her great flexibility and afforded her much more free time. As she looks to still retain time for personal activities she enjoys, she has had to figure out how to balance with her husband. For instance, it seemed to be an implicit responsibility for her to take their family dog to the groomer's and the vet. As she has added other responsibilities, even this task which she had always handles, and which had been taken for granted, needed to become part of the explicit conversation she had with her husband. As a result, they have had to redraw the lines and expectations and responsibilities in their relationship (in the sand or otherwise) to accommodate these life adjustments. I think Family Systems Theory really underscores the communication, power dynamics, and boundaries which shape many facets of families, including the example provided in Daniela's case.