Blog 7

This week's Family Systems Theory reminds me of several stories and situations I have encountered recently. The first picture is of blocks which spell out family. One of the concepts which struck me in the theory is that each family member comes together to influence family dynamics. All of the blocks together spell "family" but without each individual member together, the sum would not be achieved. While each letter is important, they all come together to spell the single word, just as all family members contribute to the sum family dynamic.

The other area which stood out to me about this theory was the concept of boundaries. We often talk about boundaries in the context of personal space or professional ethics or interpersonal engagement in a work setting. It is much more rare (in my opinion) to talk about boundaries in a family, at least in explicit terms. By defining boundaries as the management of the flow of energy and information/communication in a family as the mechanism by which belongingness and autonomy are set, there is a deep well to explore, whether in a theoretical or therapeutic context.

I have always found the expression, "I am drawing a line in the sand" (second picture) to be extremely interesting. The saying is meant to imply that a decision and its resulting consequences are permanently decided and irreversible, but I always found this to be so ironic because sand is such a malleable substance. These boundaries are something I have recently seen a co-worker struggle to define. My co-worker and friend, Daniela, has been working part-time at our agency for nearly six months since she graduated with her Master's degree. She was recently offered another part-time position and has undergone the process of defining boundaries and rules (explicit and implicit) in order to address their responsibilities and her new schedule.

It has been difficult, because Daniela has been used to having much more free time. As a student, and even recently holding a single part-time job, allowed her great flexibility and afforded her much more free time. As she looks to still retain time for personal activities she enjoys, she has had to figure out how to balance with her husband. For instance, it seemed to be an implicit responsibility for her to take their family dog to the groomer's and the vet. As she has added other responsibilities, even this task which she had always handles, and which had been taken for granted, needed to become part of the explicit conversation she had with her husband. As a result, they have had to redraw the lines and expectations and responsibilities in their relationship (in the sand or otherwise) to accommodate these life adjustments. I think Family Systems Theory really underscores the communication, power dynamics, and boundaries which shape many facets of families, including the example provided in Daniela's case.

Blog 6

The Family Stress Coping Theory and Family Resilience Theory has so many practical applications. I have recognized the role that family resilience and asset-based thinking have impacted the work of mental health professionals in my field. I have also had to look at family stress factors to serve as a resource for families and help link them with the tools needed to address challenges they are encountering.

This theory reminded me of a trailer I saw recently for an upcoming movie, called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. The movie poster and link for the preview are included below:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dideF5qvk

The reason this movie reminded me of the theory is inescapable- it is all about crisis and resilience! The movie follows 11-year-old Alexander as he experiences the most terrible and horrible day of his young life, but he does not get much sympathy from his family. After he wishes his upbeat family could share in his bad days so he is not alone. Then, his mom, dad, brother and sister all find themselves living through their own terrible days. Just from the preview, it is clear there are a number of stress factors which crop up in a short time for the family, not just its individual members.

Some of the taglines from the movie stick out to me, "We are not going to let this day get the better of us" or "If you find yourself in choppy waters, just remember you're the captain of your own ship." This clearly shows the elements of resilience, particularly in how a family deals with crisis. By recognizing that they are going to make it through together, despite how difficult their day is, they are able to build resilience and strengthen as a family unit.

Blog 5

The picture I posted below caught my attention for the discussion of Family Development Theory over the life course. The image of multiple generations together (parent, child, and their parents) is a powerful image for me which links back to stages of family transition.

One of the elements I most appreciated about the theory (and which resounded to me personally) was that two stages can be occurring at once for a family. Acknowledging that a young couple and launching of a new family with young children can be occurring at the same time as a family is dealing with the aging of older members, demonstrates how relevant and realistic this theory is to modern society. Especially with an increase of diverse families, altering timelines of family development, the compounding of these life stages and transition times is realistic, and even likely.

In my family, for instance, this has certainly been the case- compounding stages and transitions, which do not always fit neatly in the theory but certainly exemplify many critical changes my family undertook as a unit. The second picture I included is one that shows my sister's high school graduation, which also marked the start of her college career. My parents were simultaneously tasked with supporting my sisters and I as we progressed through late adolescence into young adulthood, while also taking care of my grand-aunt (depicted, who I called my second grandmother) as her health began to decline. My mom's mom, my maternal grandmother, passed away a couple short months before this picture was taken. In addition to being in a state of transition because of this loss, our family was also in the middle of other key transitions and it was certainly a period of mixed emotions- pride and happiness (for my sister's accomplishments) but also sadness.

Another time when these stages were compounded for family was about a year and a half ago. My nephew had just turned one year old. Weeks later, my grandmother (depicted in the second photo), passed away. While her health had been in decline for some time, and elder care had become an increasing priority for our family, she had the opportunity to become a great-grandmother and lived with my sister, her husband, and shared in the first year of my nephew's life. Losing her in December was difficult because it substantially altered our lives in the middle of what was otherwise a period of stability and joy of having Nicholas in the family as a nephew, grandchild, and great-grandchild.

Analyzing some of my personal experiences through this lens is emotional because of how real those stages and transitions have been to me as mile markers in my life.

Blog 4

So, for this week's post on structural functionalism, I found several images which I thought related to the theory. One of the most important areas to explore in structural functionalism is the importance of gender roles in supporting a healthy family dynamic.

The first image I selected was one of a mother teaching her daughter how to cook. I selected this image to try to demonstrate the way in which the theory sees women as being central to family functions, and how females play a critical role in rearing offspring. I hold great respect for any woman (or man) who takes on the bulk of households chores in order to support their family and/or partner's career. I think it takes bravery and selflessness to dedicate one's self to one's family in order to meet the needs of the family and make sure home dynamics are healthy and positive. The reason I take issue with the instrumental and expressive roles outlined by structural functionalism is twofold- first, because of the assumption that women and men should be assigned one capacity over another and, secondly, because there is a greater social value on one role over another.

The reason I selected the second image is to show how women and house work is overly simplified. A container so simple to open a woman can do it! The implication is that a container has to be simple to open for a woman (unlike for a man) so that it can be managed in the course of daily duties. Anyone who works (male or female) will tell you that there are definitely hard, grueling days in any career that try one's patience. However, to value paid employment outside of the home as superior devalues the work done within the home. Cooking, cleaning, child rearing- those are the easy things! Commuting, spending the day at the office, only to commute again- that is what holds real value.

The third image twists J. Howard Miller's "We Can Do It!" poster, also called "Rosie the Riveter." I was so surprised to encounter this re-imagination of the classic rendition. This marketing for cleaning products twists an iconic feminist image, which was originally used to represent women exiting a traditional, domestic role by working in manufacturing during World War II. By linking the image Rosie back to domestic cleaning, it undercuts what the image was meant to represent.

The final image from the well-known Cyanide and Happiness depicts a funny deviation of established social gender roles. Indeed, it gets to the idea of why men and women are assigned roles by gender. The cartoon shows how a man might prove to be a much better chef or baker, which means that everyone in the household, would appreciate the man's baking more. Generally, I think the structural functionalist approach does not acknowledge individual attributes that impact social functioning and family dynamics deeply.

Blog 3

Earlier today I came across an article entitled, “You Shouldn’t Ask Why Janay Rice Stayed” by Tara Culp-Ressler posted through ThinkProgress (http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/09/09/3564896/janay-rice-cycle-abuse/). Recently, the conversation of violence, specifically domestic violence, has taken a lead in national conversations because of the implications for Rice and other players through the NFL.  The article contends that the conversations surrounding Janay Rice should focus substantially less on whether she stayed with Ray Rice after his abuse; given that his violence towards her was first brought to light even before they were married, despite her status as a victim of a violent crime, many individuals have publicly criticized her for remaining with her abuser. The focus on her continued loyalty and support to Rice has drawn as much attention, if not more, as his release from the team or the NFL’s tougher policy on partner violence.

I am not inserting my personal opinion in to this blog. The reason I selected this article is because I think it serves as an incredible example of social interactionism and is a critical, relevant social issue which deserves to be discussed; the interactions of multiple perspectives is what makes this issue so ripe for analysis through the theory.

To understand people’s anger with Janay requires one to understand that there have been ongoing frustrations with tolerant (or perceived tolerant) social behavior towards violence which many people find upsetting.  Particularly for the social elite, or for those who would keep a winning football team at the expense of appropriately disciplining a player, permissiveness of wrongs condones behaviors because of how they are prioritized against other social values. Especially given the NFL’s previous history in addressing domestic violence, frustration has mounted in drawing a hard line to no longer accept this behavior. Scalding articles, as captured in one piece entitled, “The NFL, Where Smoking Pot Is 8 Times Worse Than Beating a Woman,” succinctly captures the discrepancy between punishments in the athletic industry and demands they reflect the social harm they truly cause. (http://mashable.com/2014/08/27/nfl-marijuana-josh-gordon-suspension/)

The article quotes Chai Jindasurat, the programs coordinator for the Anti-Violence Project, who says, “When we solely focus on whether a survivor stays with or leaves their abusive partner, we place all the responsibility on the survivor rather than holding an abusive partner accountable. Intimate partner violence is about power and control, and leaving can be an extremely dangerous and frightening option for survivors.” This perspective shows the complexities involved with the cycle of violence and how Janay’s role as a woman and partner is shaped by complex, and often conflicting, social interactions. Activists have even started a Facebook hashtag #WhyIStayed (although there is also a #WhyILeft movement), to explain their perspectives and experiences. In essence, they explain why staying is not just a symbol of “weakness” or “submissiveness,” but how staying is tougher course of action because of the limited resources and support which are often offered.

The racial component is also explored, as the article cites a Drexel University therapist speaking about the perception of African American women. She says, “It’s almost like we can’t be victims. We can’t be innocent victims in the way that women of other races can be.” The speculations which have gone into how Janay “deserved” her treatment (statements which echo other dominant social commentary regarding abuse, such as when Rihanna was beat by boyfriend Chris Brown http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/156026/amanda_bynes_tells_rihanna_chris), show how social perceptions cloud discussion of appropriate punishment and lead to victim blaming and shaming. Further undermining her agency as a woman by questioning her decision to stay, in addition to language about how she deserved her treatment, is a form of re-victimization by undercutting her as an individual and justifying the behavior against her.

In essence, the action of staying with her husband Ray Rice has been used to represent and characterize domestic violence situations universally, and has made Janay a social symbol for domestic violence victims and survivors.  The cultural underpinnings of this decision, couple with the social roles perceived by individuals, has become a hotly contested issue which is representative of the social interactionism perspective’s analysis of conflict and social change.

Blog 2

As is evident from the readings and other materials for this week's unit, the American family has been in a constant state of flux and transition. As the structure of families has shifted and developed, so have the theories which explain these ebbs and flows. Often times I have found myself reflecting on my individual experiences- my role as a sister, daughter, aunt, niece, and cousin- that I have not connected it back to the experiences of the larger groups to which I am connected, whether they be geographical, racial, or otherwise. 

One of the stories that comes to mind most often when discussing identity, race, ethnicity and the perceptions of others regarding these domains is one that my friend, Laura, told me long ago. When she went to college, she was often labeled as a "stereotypical white girl from the suburbs." With her blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin, Laura probably looked the part based on most individual's perceptions. When she went to college in Pennsylvania, and even once she entered graduate school in Texas, people constantly found her to be out of place at Hispanic events or spoke Spanish around her, instead of to her. It is probably because Laura defies most people's image of when they think of someone from Latin America or who speaks Spanish; Laura was born and raised for the first ten years of her life in Venezuela. This assumption, at times, has made Laura feel isolated. At times, it has worked to her advantage, as a tool to surprise people and broaden their understanding of identity and culture, if they have the opportunity to get to know her more deeply. 

These stories surprised me, even though I probably should have been cued into this idea much sooner. I have known Laura since high school, where we were in many of the same classes together, including Spanish. I remember on our first day of class, when we were getting to know each other and discussing our backgrounds, our teacher made an interesting comment. "We have such a diverse class today, some people don't sound like they speak Spanish and some people don't look like they speak Spanish." She probably meant that folks like Laura didn't look "Hispanic" and students like me had surnames like "Safstrom" which did not sound Hispanic.

The reason I make the connection with "looking" or "sounding" the part with language, is because the same becomes true regarding families. When you begin to make the assumption that some people do not look like they fit together, diverse families struggle to fit into the mold. I may look like my sister,  but what if I didn't? That does not make her any less of sister.

The idea of blended and diverse families, whether the mix is based on bloodlines, race, religion, gender, geography, language or any other identifying characteristic of an individual becomes the means by which judge families, then the understanding is limited. While sometimes, labeling, categorizing or grouping families helps from a theoretical standpoint to draw conclusions and explain trends, the nuances of every individual must also be respected by acknowledging every individual or family unit will not fit into one standard categorization. For this reason, I think it is the biggest challenge and excitement in studying families, to explore diverse theoretical perspectives to develop a broad, multifaceted understanding of families.

 Laura and I at the beach.

My youngest sister and I.